10 Signs You Might Be Experiencing Limerence
- Orly Miller
- Jan 28
- 2 min read
Updated: Jan 30
10 Signs You Might Be Experiencing Limerence
Limerence can be an overwhelming emotional state, often confused with love or infatuation. If you’ve found yourself caught in an obsessive cycle of thoughts and feelings about someone, you might be experiencing limerence. Understanding the signs can help you identify and navigate this intense experience.
Here are ten signs that could indicate you’re experiencing limerence:
1. Obsessive Thinking
Do you find yourself thinking about someone constantly, even when you’re trying to focus on other things? Limerence often involves intrusive, repetitive thoughts about the object of your affection, making it difficult to concentrate on daily life.
2. Emotional Highs and Lows
Your mood might soar when you receive attention from this person and crash when you feel ignored or perceive rejection. These emotional swings can be exhausting and are a hallmark of limerence.
3. Idealisation of the Other Person
Limerence often involves seeing the other person through rose-coloured glasses, ignoring their flaws and idealising their qualities. This idealisation creates a fantasy that may not align with reality.
4. Intense Longing for Reciprocation
You may feel a strong desire for the other person to reciprocate your feelings. Even small gestures from them, like a smile or a text message, can feel like significant validation, intensifying your emotional attachment.
5. Preoccupation with Fantasies
You might spend a lot of time imagining scenarios involving the other person; future conversations, romantic encounters, or how your lives might intertwine. These fantasies can feel more compelling than reality.
6. Difficulty Focusing on Other Relationships
Limerence often monopolises your emotional energy, making it hard to connect meaningfully with others, including friends, family, or even a romantic partner if you’re already in a relationship.
7. Emotional Dependency
You may notice that your happiness feels tied to this person’s actions or attention. Their behaviour can significantly impact your sense of self-worth, leading to a cycle of dependency.
8. Physical Symptoms of Anxiety
The intense emotions of limerence can manifest physically. You might experience a racing heart, difficulty sleeping, or even stomach discomfort when thinking about the person or awaiting their attention.
9. Fear of Rejection
The thought of losing their attention or affection might feel unbearable, leading to heightened anxiety and even avoidance behaviours to protect yourself from potential rejection.
10. Barriers Heighten the Obsession
If there are barriers to being with this person, such as distance, existing relationships, or life circumstances - these obstacles can intensify your longing and idealisation, making the experience feel even more consuming.
What to Do if You Recognise These Signs
If these signs resonate with you, you might be experiencing limerence. While it can feel all-consuming, it’s important to remember that you are not alone, and support is available. Therapy can be an effective way to explore the underlying causes of limerence and develop strategies for managing obsessive thoughts and emotional dependency.
My upcoming book on limerence delves deeply into these experiences, offering insights and practical guidance for navigating and overcoming limerence. Stay tuned for its release if you’re ready to learn more about understanding and managing this intense emotional state.